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just a speck in time

That is all we are here for. That is what it feels like — a speck in time. There will come a day when we are no longer here. It will eventually be like we never even existed. We go through these years worrying about this, worrying about that, wanting to love, wanting to be loved, hoping to make our mark on this world.

What is our mark? Do you ever think about that? What is your mark? Mine is love. That is my mark. Is that your mark? Is that everyone’s mark? It certainly is not everyone’s mark. There are people who go through this life not really caring about anyone and only themselves. There are greedy, selfish people. There are people who turn a blind eye. There are people who just don’t care. But then there are the people who love. There are those people going through life spreading love the best they can. They have been betrayed, lied to, and used, but they don’t let it stop them from loving.

As we go through life, “love” takes on new meaning. Our first love was the love of family, then friends, and then romantic love. Love for a romantic partner should be the same love for a mother/ father/ brother, sister, or friend, but it should be even more complex because it is different from any other love.

My mom was the first person that I truly felt loved by. She loved me so much. She would tell me all “I love you” all the time and compliment me all the time. We would never stay upset with each other and always say sorry if we got upset with each other. It hurt both of us to the core of our being to be upset with the other. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my mother, and my mother knew that. There is nothing (within her control) that she wouldn’t do for me. We were each other’s cheerleader and biggest fan. That is love. With romantic love, attraction, physical desire, and passion are added. That kind of love is unlike any other. But if there is no chemistry, it ends up just an attraction.

I recently read on a post that if someone makes you feel excited and giddy and your heart races, walk away. It says instead, you should go for someone who makes you feel warm, safe, and secure. No, I wholeheartedly disagree. If you don’t have it all, people get into big relationship problems. You need to have it all. Not one or the other. When you have chemistry and a soul connection with someone, your heart will race, and you will feel excited and giddy, but you will also feel warm, safe, and secure with them. They will feel like “home” to you. If you have chemistry and a deep connection with someone, you will have everything. I spent a good portion of my life not having it. But I have had it and am telling you there is nothing like it. When you have that, you not only have love but are in love and will remain in love for the rest of your days. Call me an incurable romantic. I am. I always will be. I genuinely believe this. But both have to feel it to work both ways. I call it soulmates.

So what happens if you have this, you know, the whole kit and caboodle love thing, and things don’t work out? I don’t know. I don’t know if that was the entire chemistry, I love this person in the depths of my soul thing. If you two are fighting and constantly getting on each other’s nerves or putting yourself, your desires, and others first, there is something wrong there. Suppose you profess your undying love for someone. Well, then, you should love them. Loving them means having patience, not yelling, understanding, and communicating. It does not mean turning your back on them, withholding your love, manipulating them, and always putting your needs before theirs. Now, if I love you, I will love you like I loved my momma — a full-on love.

I will be your biggest cheerleader and will always be there for you. If you feel the same, your heart will beat fast and feel excited, giddy, warm, and safe. That is how it will be. You will always want one thing. You will want what is best for the other person and what is best for the growth of your relationship. You would never want to jeopardize that beautiful relationship. Sometimes, we are dumb and say dumb things, but we must laugh at ourselves. Just admit you were dumb, laugh at yourself, apologize, and move on. Admit your faults. Don’t hold grudges, don’t always be right, don’t be insulting. 

I once had to do a reading at my best friend’s funeral; she picked the reading and asked me to do it before she passed. The reading was from 1 Corinthians. It is a reading that is usually read at weddings and is one of my favorites. It brings me to tears. Here it is:

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 Love never fails. 

Now, if only we could all live that Bible passage, then we could say we made our mark, and what a beautiful world it would be.
I don’t know how much time I have left. I cannot waste it crying over my mistakes. I need to love. And I need to feel love. Life is too short. So smile at strangers, open doors for them, pick something up, and offer a helping hand to all in need. Do what ever you can that will make someone else’s day better. Don’t put blinders on, don’t be a bull and want your way and what you want, don’t blame, accuse, and argue, but have honest conversations and be honest with yourself. Life is too short for anything else but love. Love, Love, Love.

I will add, though. Love does not call us to be a doormat. If you have a partner who you are loving with all your heart, and they continually walk all over you, that is not love. That is abuse, and in that case, you need help. That is why ensuring you have chemistry with someone is essential — and not fake chemistry. You will know. There will be signs it is not genuine. Don’t go into denial. Follow your gut. You will know in your soul how much you are loved. The love will be reflected in how you are treated. When dating, at the first signs of narcism, addiction, or feeling anything less than genuine care and concern for you, run for the hills. Listen to your inner voice and then hold out for that soulmate. You will know. That little inner voice is so important.

I hope you enjoyed my post on love. I don’t know how good it is; I am just speaking from the heart.
Have a beautiful day. Make use of that speck you are in this big universe. Love with all your heart and make a difference in people’s lives.

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