Simply me

Wishing my friend Robyn the happiest of birthdays. You know how special she is if you read my birthday blog about her last year. Every year I shall have a birthday tribute to her.

She is the one I can pick up the phone at any time, day or night, and she is there. If she cannot pick up, she always returns the call and is there. She is there in good times and bad times and in-between times. She is always there.

Like tonight, on her birthday eve, I called her because I am having a tough time…she is there. She has a lot on her plate and is there for me. And when I say there…I mean, THERE. Fully present, with the utmost love and understanding. She sees things that I don’t see, and she explains them to me in a loving way. She wants to make everything better, but as much as she wishes she could wave her magic wand, she knows she can’t. She also knows we all have to go through our stuff and heal. Yet, she is never dismissive and truly embraces my feelings understanding everything. She is honest, genuine, reflective, wise, empathetic, and one of the most down-to-earth, real people I have ever met, and when she loves, she really loves. I am not very trusting. I have a tough time really letting people in and trusting them. But I trust her with all my heart. I trust she loves me and wants only the best for me. I trust she will never abandon me.

We have been friends now for 31 years. I love that moment when we first met, and she had her feet up on the chair where I wanted to sit. That memory cracks me up. She didn’t look too happy with me, and I probably didn’t look too happy with her. But it wasn’t long before we were good friends. I don’t know how anyone could not be good friends with her. She is just so lovable. One thing that really impressed me about her was her circle of friends. I went to a party at her house, and there were many different types of people. Look at me! I was 32, and she was only 22. She was going to the same college, but for music, and I was going for a secretarial certificate. She was single, and I was already divorced with a five-year-old child. But we could not have been more suited for a beautiful friendship. Why? Despite our differences, we are very much the same. Our friendship rode the waves of life…in touch, out of touch, in touch, out of touch. We were in out-of-touch mode when she saw a post of mine on Facebook, and she picked up her phone and called me. She was the only friend to do so during that tumultuous time. We reconnected quickly. During that phone call, I found she was going through a tough time as well, so during the ensuing months, we were there for each other crying, laughing, sharing, and caring, and we have been non-stop for the past 3.5 years. We ride the waves of life together.

Robyn, I don’t know what I would have done without you in 2019. Honestly, I do not know if I would be here. There is no way I could ever repay you for your beautiful friendship and what your loving, caring, beautiful soul has done for me. I only hope I am as good a friend as you are. I love you so much. Thank you for your love and friendship for 31 years and for picking up the phone and calling me in 2019.

You deserve everything good in life, my friend! May this birthday year bring you love, peace, joy, good health, and much less stress, and may you get positive answers on many things. You are in my heart and prayers always.

Thanks for always standing by me Robyn. This reminds me of you.

A message to whoever else is reading this blog … do you have a friend you have not spoken to in a while? If it was a wonderful friendship, it still will be, and it will be amazing just pick up the phone, call, or send a letter and rekindle that friendship.

While I was in Trader Joe’s two weeks ago, I noticed they had cartons of figs. I checked them out, and they looked pretty good, so I decided to buy a carton. After dinner, I took the figs out of the fridge, washed a few, and took my first bite. With that first bite, images flooded my consciousness with love. Images of my dad and all of the stories of his lifelong love of figs. Oh, the joy he experienced just talking about those figs of his younger years. He had a lifelong love affair with figs that started in his early childhood days in Monterosso, Italy. I believe figs are what he loved best (food-wise anyway). While he always said “food is food,” I am sure he didn’t feel like “figs were figs.” I wish I would have said to him, “you wouldn’t say figs are figs. I could hear him thank laugh and say, “figs are different, oh how I love figs.” Growing up, we had a few fig trees in our yard. There is nothing in this world like a freshly picked ripe fig! Even our dog loved them and would jump up and grab the ones on the lower branches. I always wanted my own fig tree but could not have one where I am. When we buy a house, I will certainly make sure to have multiple fig trees. I only wished my dad had passed in August rather than May so that I could have gotten him figs to have for the last time.

That one bite of that recently eaten fig was delicious, and I could relate to the joy that filled my dad’s heart with every bite he took. Figs will always only remind me of my father. And they will always make me smile. Figs are certainly not just figs. Figs are heavenly. They were even around in the days of Adam and Eve. I wonder if they have figs in heaven. I sure hope so!

Amen = I believe. It means both God’s faithfulness towards us and our trust in Him. But it means even more. It means we put our lives forward for that truth. As Fr. Jerome Magat says, “And so, more than simply I believe, the word “Amen” means that I place my life forward for the truth of a particular claim. It is more than an idea that lives in the mind. It is also an act of the will expressing God’s trustworthiness and my desire to believe, trust and love Him. AMEN!

The other night my husband watched the movie “Lillies of the Field”. He loves that movie. I have not seen it since I was a child. The three things I remember are:

1. Sidney Poitier 2. Nuns 3. The song “Amen.” I remember as a child singing the chorus and even breaking out in song on certain occasions when you heard a big “Amen.” Click the link to see the video. Sing along. It will bring you such joy! How could it not?

https://youtu.be/bdtl4SwNEW0

I watched the movie this morning and I have to say it is now one of my favorites. Superb acting by Sidney Poitier and a beautiful message of humility, simplicity, and reliance upon God in all things. Watching all these things unfold in this timeless classic was heartwarming.

How many times can you look back on your own life and see God’s hand at work? Some may scoff at Mother Maria’s idea that God sent Homer to build a chapel by saying she thought God sent Homer. No, Mother Maria “knew” that God sent Homer. There lies the difference between true faith and none. Mother Maria was fully reliant on God. Homer appeared to marvel at her innocent dependence on God for everything. She just knew. A modern-day “Mother Maria” is Mother Angelica. Mother Angelica relied on God too, fully trusting her prayers would be answered if it was His will. She started a television network out of the garage and ended up building a global television network, a monastery, and a shrine. Oh wait, she did not build it… she was just the instrument needed. Just as Homer was the instrument God needed to build the chapel. Mother Angelica has evangelized to millions of people worldwide. Eternal Word Television Network has reached over 200 million homes in 145 different countries. It is a network that runs 24 hours a day and in several languages and a variety of religious programming. One of those people she reached was me. Mother Angelica helped bring me back to God, and she taught me so very much. One of the first things she taught me was how to pray the rosary. The most important thing she taught me was true presence in the Eucharist. Mother Angelica’s faith, reliance, and trust in God is something to be admired and something we can all acquire. She felt where God was calling her and she relied on Him to help her get the job done. Just as Mother Maria from Lillies of the Field relied on God to get the job done using Homer.

When have you relied on God? Have you seen Him come through? Sometimes He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we want, but He does help. Look at your past. Do you see when you placed complete trust in Him? Did you place complete trust in Him? Did he answer your prayers, even in ways you would not expect? It is not always so easy to do, but you just have to believe. End your request with a powerful heartfelt AMEN!

When I was a single mom with rent to pay and a 6-year-old daughter to take care of, I lost my job. Christmas was right around the corner. I was overwhelmed with the prospect of no presents for my daughter and the thought of losing our apartment. I couldn’t take it anymore. I knelt down on my knees in my living room, raised my arms up to God and said, “God, please it is too much for me. Please God, I cannot do this. Please take all of it and take care of it for me. I know you can.” Giving it to Him I felt an immediate release. I felt him take it and I trusted he would take care of it. Two days later, an overnight package arrived in my mailbox. It was written out to me and from me. I opened it and the card there was $3,000. cash. True story. Ends up the very dear person who sent it said a prayer to God for guidance on some extra money she had. God responded “Mary.” Laura was God’s instrument and she has been so much throughout her life. That answered pray blows my mind still, but it shouldn’t. Doesn’t God tell us in the bible to give our burdens to him? In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus tells us, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Looking back to other times in my life, it is obvious where God’s beautiful instruments helped me through tough times. There are so many. If you are reading this and have been one of them, you know it. Thank you and Thank you God!

If you have never seen the movie “Lillies of the Field” watch it now. Don’t put it off. If you have seen it, watch it again. It is a delightful, charming movie and it will hopefully reawaken the awareness that God is always there for us and how we should always be present to Him.

AMEN!

It was 1974, and I was walking through the bustling hallway at my Jr. High School. Suddenly my steps slowed when a girl brushed bedside me. “Do you want to come to my sleepover birthday party?” Her sing-song voice sounded pleasantly uplifting and cheerful. Her question surprised me. Was she really asking me? I asked if my friend could come because I loved her and so wanted her included. Very bold, but I needed to ask. Her quick negative response of no echoed in my ears and left my heart and stomach wrenched. I calmly responded a cool yes while riding the wave of excitement, mingled with disappointment, until the night of the party.

The Party was a blast. I don’t remember how many girls were there. I remember Andrea and Jean were two of them, and of course Lois, and her twin Mary. We had many laughs into the wee hours of the morning, finally falling asleep on our blankets on the floor. Everyone accepted me and treated me as if I had been a part of the group forever. The party catapulted me into a whole new group of friends. The years since have had their ebbs and flows, but our strong, warm feelings for one another remain consistent.

On the side of a dead-end road, before Cedar Creek park, an old decaying blue car stood in high weeds. High weeds lined both sides of the street, making it the perfect hideaway spot, bathroom spot, or make-out spot. This was our hang-out. I was a few months shy of 15 when I started hanging out at the blue car. While the other girls began around 12. Ah, all those fun times I had missed! My walk to the blue car was a long one, nearly 17 blocks. It was an easy peasy lemon squeezy walk. But going home? I won’t lie, SCARY. I would walk anxiously, awaiting the weirdos who were out late at night. Sometimes a random weirdo would drive his car alongside me. I felt safer when Ann and I would walk home together. Sometimes I would ask to stay out longer. I remember the many times I would call home from Joma’s payphone to ask if I could come home later. My dad’s answer: “you better get home now, or you’re getting beat.” That made me pick up the pace of my walk even faster. The lucky ones who lived closer could be home in a flash, especially Andrea, who lived on the same street as the blue car.

1975; the year of the blue car. I can confidently say it was, for me anyhow, as the year was delightful! We hung out listening to music and doing other stuff (keeping it clean here). Other places we hung out are Joma’s (a pizza place) and the pinball arcade, both around the corner. The local police officer would show up just to annoy us. I do not remember his name; maybe officer Sweeney? But I remember it to be #711 who came around often when we were in the store’s parking lot; his mission? To ruin our good time. I can’t remember precisely why 🤔 but I remember it being a thing and him being a nuisance 😂. In addition, we would hang at the Walls (the handball courts at Cedar Creek Park) or on Cedar Street (cops again). The blue car was always our best bet. We always hung out, whether it be during the hottest heat or the coldest cold. My memory isn’t the best, but I remember mostly hanging out there at night. Sometimes we would spend hot summer days at Central Mall (field 4) at Jones Beach.

Unfortunately, I don’t have many memories of specific things with the group. The feel of fun and warmth pervades me when I reminisce. In high school, there was fun in the pigpen (an outside section with tables). As seniors, we could smoke cigarettes there. It was crazy; our school let us smoke during senior year! Most of us could not smoke at home (rightfully so), but our school let us smoke! Sometimes we cut school and spent time at the bleachers or the train station where the truant officer, Mr. Andolf would chase us in his little black Renault. I cut little as I had too much fear for my life. If my father caught me, I’d be dead. I only did it a handful of times, if that. Study hall was always fun, and there was a senior lounge we used to hang in while seniors. We grew up at a different time. Our Sr. Trip was a mess, and photos of beer, cigarettes, and bongs dotted our yearbook. These were the seventies, and these were the times of the Blue Car Crew; we wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

Since those days, much has changed, but one thing has never changed; Our connection to each other and that fun, warm feeling when we meet. Seeing us that day we gathered, you would never guess it had been a while since we were together. The “blue car crew,” as Andrea affectionately named us, is still going strong. We played around in the pool, reminisced, laughed, shared stories, and truly felt so comfortable with each other. We remembered like it was yesterday, and what we did not remember, Ann did! She is the historian, so to speak, of the group. She remembers everything! Like a walking, talking, Wikipedia

Our group has gathered at a restaurant/bar over the years, but it was nothing like Andrea’s. She and Donny have Runyon’s beat by a mile! Donny is Andrea’s husband, who played host to us girls, catering to our every whim while doing it all so effortlessly. He endured our jokes and banter, and he did so very well 👏! And Andrea? besides being the “hostess with the mostest”, she is the glue helping to keep us together.

‘Twas lovely time spent with dear old friends. Nothing like being with those you have known for 47 plus years. We wished that the rest of our blue car crew friends were there, but hopefully, they will join us the next time, which will be next month! Having the entire group together would be the ultimate. While that is an uncertainty, we stay hopeful for that dream to come true.

I hope we can keep doing this till we are old and gray… well, older and grayer, I should say 😂. Let’s just do our best to take care of ourselves. Those who stayed late were lucky for the close-to-midnight exercise tips from Andrea! Please see her for details! Caution: extreme soreness follows 😂! May we continue to gather until the end of our days!

To the blue car crew… I love you. I cherish our memories and look forward to the times ahead of us. Our friendship has made my life richer. Be happy, be at peace, be well, be safe, love and be loved, and stay connected. Life is good! 😍😘🥰

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

I love celebrating my birthday and the birthdays of those I love. I think birthdays are wonderful and worthy of grand celebrations to be spent however you like. Whether it be a relaxing, simple, quiet time at home spent alone or with loved ones, or an extravagant party, it doesn’t matter, just celebrate the fact that you entered this world and that you made it another year. It is not just another day. It is a special day. You completed another trip around the sun. Congratulations! Now’s the time for another. Make it a good start!

The 4th of March is a special day for me because one of the most beautiful people I know was born 51 years ago. Hard to imagine that she was only 21 when we met. I just want to share with the world how much this one person touched my heart and my life. I believe she is part of the reason I am still here today to write this. This is a public tribute to her, giving thanks for the gift of her life and her love. The love that she pours out onto everyone and everything.

It was 1991, Five Towns College, Seaford, NY; the first day of my word processing class. I went to sit down at my chosen desk, but a pair of legs resting in its chair prevented me from doing so. I looked at the girl sitting at the desk behind it, looked at her boots on my seat, and then looked back at her. She was wearing black nail polish (this was 1991 and not so common back then and stands out in my mind). I asked her to move her feet, and she begrudgingly moved them. (we may remember things differently, lol). I was 31, divorced, and the mother of a four-year-old little girl.   18-22 was the average age of students at Five Towns. Robyn fit right in there at 21. Me? Not so much. I didn’t care, though. It was just so awesome being able to attend. As a struggling single mom, I was grateful for the opportunity. Robyn was there for music, (it was a music school). I was attending for a one-year secretarial certificate. When it came time for us to explore our computers, our teacher sat us side by side. And so the ride began, and it has been a wonderful, exhilarating ride indeed. Like an old pair of jeans, my memory is a bit faded, but the important thing is Robyn and I became fast friends and we formed a beautiful bond. We had many laughs during our time at Five Towns and thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. We graduated together in 1992. If I remember correctly, we were only in one class together but saw each other often. At one point Robyn would walk me to class (hers was nearby) because there was a guy there (older, like myself) who was stalking me. He got me into the copy room once and forcefully tried to kiss me. I pushed him off and took off like a bat out of hell. The whole incident has caused much laughter over the years. Robyn was my unofficial bodyguard during that time, walking me to class hoping to circumvent any more encounters. In September, the college moved to a new campus in Dix Hills. I don’t think we had any classes together, but Robyn used to hang out with me in the Dean of Student’s office where I worked during my break in the day., Dr. Quinn didn’t mind. He actually encouraged it. That was a pretty cool gig. I finished school in January 1992 and Robyn that June. We both walked across the stage at Five Towns College that June, having achieved our desired goal and walking out with not only a certificate for me, and a diploma for her, but with a beautiful friendship that was forged during our times there. This photo is the only photo I have of Robyn and me. We continued our friendship outside of school, getting together a few times. I remember going to her house upstate and meeting all her cute animal friends; a beautiful horse named Rocky (who she still has), a cat, and a ferret. Her love for animals was obvious; another thing that endeared her to me.  One day I went to a party at her house for her birthday. I didn’t know if I would fit in, but the different mix of people certainly helped make me feel comfortable.  Robyn had many different types of people as friends.  Differences were something Robyn doesn’t think about.  I think it only matters that they are good souls.  She sees deep within people and is drawn to what she sees and feels on the inside.

Five years after graduating, Robyn moved to Arizona. We drifted apart and back together a few times over the years. When we reconnected, it seemed no time had passed. No more reconnections. This time we will never drift again.

I went through a rough time two years ago. It was obvious on Facebook that I was going through an extremely tumultuous time. During that time, I didn’t know how I would ever get through it or even if I would get through it.  Upon seeing my post, Robyn reached out to me. Not by responding on Facebook, but by calling me. That phone call took us to a deeper level in our friendship. She found out my troubles and shared her troubles with me. We were both in so much pain. We became dependent on each other to get through that pain. She listened to me. I mean really listened to me and was there for me whatever the hour. Whenever we needed each other we were there. We helped each other through those rough times. I don’t know what I would have done without her love, support, and guidance. Forming a bond with a best friend is not something forced. It just happens naturally and grows with every encounter. We learn about each other, through each other, and we grow together. We gain trust and acceptance. I have learned she is a beautiful soul who has a heart full of love for people and animals. As I said earlier, Robyn pours her whole heart into everything and everyone. She is beautiful, brave, strong, kind, caring, honest, and real. Sometimes her powerful love and devotion get her into a predicament, but her strength gets her through as well as her faith in God; how he uses her as an instrument is a driving force. His call she always answers. Robyn sees deep into their interior and she feels their feelings right down to the marrow of her bones, so to speak. Robyn is not an on-the-surface type of person. She is deep and down to earth. We are on the phone yesterday and we were talking about our sun signs. I looked up her sign and read about the Pisces woman. It was so on target. She is a healer, a comforter, kind, and compassionate. Here is something that the article says:

“Pisces always fights for the underdogs and is known for her soft-hearted ways. She is deeply sentimental and often moved to tears by sad movies and even sappy dog food commercials. Don’t make fun of her for her empathetic personality–the world needs more dreamers and practitioners of loving kindness. Sweet Pisces is here to show us all how to be gentler–with each other, and with ourselves,” “Kind-hearted Pisceans have a tendency to take in strays of all kinds, so she may have a revolving cast of rescues, whether it’s a bird with a broken wing whom she’s nursing back to health, or a wayward friend sleeping on her couch.” This is all so very Robyn!

Today is her birthday and I celebrate her. Through thick and thin and everything in-between she is my dear, sweet, darling, friend and I am blessed, so very blessed she is in my life.

Happy Birthday, Robyn. I can’t say it much better than last year. “You are one of the best people I have ever known. You have an enormous heart that forever loves and gives. You are so genuine, so down to earth, so real. You are someone who I am so comfortable being myself with, someone who I can fully trust, someone who I can depend on, someone I can cry with and laugh with, someone who knows that sometimes there are no words and only heart. You are kind, loving, altruistic, honest, and always hopeful even when hope is so very hard. I wish you all the beauty, happiness, and love that you so deserve. May this year be one that brings more laughter than tears, one that brings more sun than clouds, and more happiness than your heart can hold. I love you, Robyn. Thank you for all the joy you’ve bought to my life. Those two words (thank you) sound so meager. Know (and I know you know) those words are from a sincere heart filled with gratefulness for all that you are and have been to not only me but others who were blessed to cross your path. May all your dreams and wishes come true, and through it all, I hope you dance.

And this is from me, and I am sure it echos the sentiments of your other friends as well, so it is from them too!